


Meta on Demisexual Nathan Thaddeus Wuornos

by Nocticola



Series: Nocti's meta [2]
Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Ace writer, Asexual Awareness Week, Demisexual Nathan Wuornos, Haven meta, Meta, Nebularomantic, Other, Panromantic Nathan Wuornos, autistic headcanon, demisexual headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:52:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9264635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola
Summary: Nathan Thaddeus Wuornos is very demisexual and I like to write about it.1) General meta on canon moments2)Character development q&a for ace characters3)Discussion on Attraction(s)





	1. General Meta on Canon moments

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted for AAW fandom challenge: http://yokyopeli.tumblr.com/post/153241069133/yokyopeli-asexual-awareness-week-2016-fandom . It came with a photoset+ screencaps, hence the somewhat awkward order and phrasing of the piece.

This is really long and rambley with more caps/image descriptions so I’m putting this under read more. The point of it is that Nathan is really fucking demisexual.

First some basics for those who don’t know Nathan/Haven. Haven is a show about a town in Stephen King’s Maine where certain people are cursed with suck/Troubled every quarter century or so after they’ve been triggered by emotional and/or physical trauma. Nathan is one of those people, his Trouble being that he cannot feel anything physically. He has a magical disability with a proper if extreme medical diagnosis, idiopathic neuropathy. He was first Troubled from age 7 until about 9 (1983-1985, although the Haven timeline makes this questionable) and when the show starts in 2010 (or is it 2009? again, Haven timeline is confusing) he has been Troubled again for 2-3 years. His Trouble and couple of other stuff has left him to be a pretty messed up person and all that stuff affects my headcanon of him as a demisexual character. Now to all the moments. This is rambly and not well organized but hopefully semi-clear. 

2x2 Fear and Loathing  
Duke Crocker: So, what’s it like being back to normal?  
Nathan Wuornos: Haven’t really had time to process.  
Duke Crocker: You mean.. *suggestive tone and smirk*  
Nathan Wuornos: No, I mean process.  
Duke Crocker: Well, I’ll tell you what. You find this tattooed guy for me and I’ll introduce you to some very lovely ladies who’ll be more than happy to help you process.  
Nathan Wuornos: I, gotta get back to work.  
Duke Crocker: If you’re worried about the cost, it’s my treat.  
Nathan Wuornos: Very nice of you, thank you, but no.

Again, context for this is that Nathan has very recently realized that because the protagonist Audrey Parker is really special, he can feel her touch (1x8). However, neither of them are very touchy feely people so basically for the past few years he’s only felt a kiss on the cheek, a high five and some hand action. However, in this episode, he has temporarily lost his Trouble. He can physically feel again, and his semi-friend Duke Crocker is asking how that feels, to be normal again. When Nathan says he hasn’t really processed it (since it had only been a couple of hours), Duke very suggestfully implies that ‘process’ might mean ‘sex’. Nathan is confused and something about Duke’s thought process. Duke, however, continues with the suggestion of getting Nathan in contact with some sex workers to help Nathan process is comeback to normalcy. Nathan kindly declines.

I love this moment. Not to say that “dude doesn’t immediately think about sex=ace spectrum” or anything, his reaction could be read among those lines. It has already been established that since his Trouble came back, Nathan hasn’t really made any efforts to figure out how to function with it sexually (1x8). That’s some odd phrasing, but really, sex never really seems to be much of a priority for Nathan and he only really considers the issues when he’s actually interested in someone like Jess Minion in 1x6-1x8, which is a relationship where Nathan is constantly quite uncomfortable and which is helped along a lot by Jess pursuing him and Audrey’s encouragement. He seems mostly to be fine without worrying about sex for the most part. Information about his complete backstory is rather lacking but we do know that he made no efforts to be with anyone since his Trouble came back and there are no mention of serious relationships after high school. 

2x12 Sins of the Fathers  
Garland Wuornos: Are you in love?  
Nathan Wuornos: I don’t know what it is.

I was really struck by the phrasing of this moment. Like, I know he’s speaking with his (dead)father and they didn’t have the most emotionally open relationship but Nathan, honey, you are very clearly in love with her. The fact that he seems unsure kinda makes me lean on ‘he’s never actually been in love before, so he’s not sure that what this is [yeah it is]’. 

5x26 Forever  
Nathan Wuornos: I never felt anything until I met you[Audrey]. 

That is so Single-Target Sexuality trope (which is kinda the fictional equivalent of demisexuality http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SingleTargetSexuality ) of you Nathan. When you add the other Emily Rose-shaped characters and Nathan’s relationships with them, I think this headcanon becomes pretty damn close to canon. Like, he does have other relationships, his relationship with Duke is up to interpretation, Jess Minion and Hannah Driscoll both where implied to be the pursuiers in those relationships and with Jordan McKee, the way their Troubles interacted were likely to create the required emotional bond for attraction to develop. But, for good and ill, Nathan loves her to so much in a way that reads to me as deminess. 

1x3 Harmony  
Duke Crocker: Does she know you’re not a real boy? —  
Nathan Wuornos: Maybe you’ll fix me someday. 

My poor messed up, broken, boy. One of the reasons the Nathan-Duke dynamic is complicated is moments such as this. Duke gives him shit for his Trouble and how it affects him, here with a rather sexually charged comment on Nathan’s lack of ability to perform, for a lack of better phrasing. The idea of not being ‘real’ is one that Nathan continues to deal with, because his missing one of his crucial senses that most people take for granted which affects his view of the world a lot. The fact that at the end of the episode he admits to Audrey his brokenness and of being ‘fixed’ is pretty damn telling of his self-image. If we go with him being ace-spectrum in addition to his Trouble, that idea of being broken is a rather common feeling, feeling ineffectively both physically and emotionally would be consistent with the rest of Nathan’s characterization. 

Nathan Wuornos: At least it wouldn’t remind me of my own problems.  
Audrey Parker: How does any of this remind you that you have no game with chicks?  
Nathan Wuornos: [off screen) Thanks.  


He cannot handle flirting. At all. He has no flirting skills, it makes him uncomfortable. He can’t deal with PDA either really. Until 5x15 anyway. 

1x2 Butterfly 

Nathan Wuornos: [Instead of taking Hannah Driscoll to the prom, he took her to see a meteor shower] Meteor showers are better naked.  
Audrey Parker: Nathan Wuornos! Just another teenage boy, trying to get a girl’s clothes off.  
Nathan Wuornos: The meteor shower was my idea, the rest was hers.  


Even teenage!Nathan, the nerdy geek that he is, was more interested in meteor shower than getting naked, although he did enjoy the nakedness. 

*Nathan doesn’t do sexuality right moments: 

5x3 Spotlight

Mara: If sex makes a relationship, then everything you say you feel for Audrey would be a lie.

I get that this is about to Nathan sleeping with Sarah before Audrey (not dealing with that, YMMV iffiness), I guess, but that whole rhetoric is very acephobic. This whole idea that romantic relationship requires sex to be valid invalidates romantic relationship with aces, especially sex-repulsed ones, and when you add all the moments with Nathan that basically amount to ‘Nathan doesn’t do sexuality right’, it is striking to get this type of blatantly acephobic line thrown at him. In context it does not necessarily work like that, since Nathan and Audrey do have a physical, sexual relationship (Mara just had a memory flash that shows that), but with the other moments from Mara (and possessed Duke) shown next here, can be relatable to people who get shit for (lack of) sexuality.

Mara: And we could be having fun, except for you’re wearing a chastity belt.

Mara: Prude.

5x23 Blind Spot  
Crocker [talking to offscreen Audrey Parker]: That… is just you. Stubborn and manipulative and frigid. No wonder you picked him [Nathan].

Being called a prude and being the man of choice for a frigid woman, not to mention wearing a chastity belt (which I’m not aware if was ever meant for men so gender stuff too) are all stuff that ace-spectrum people are subjected to.

*Nathan being judgey  
I have certain apprehensive feelings about these two moments and this point in general, because there are people who think that demisexuality is nothing more than people being (picky) prudes who judge other people’s love lives. So to talk about a few moments of Nathan being somewhat judgy about another person’s love life is iffy, demi rep wise. But one of the flaws Nathan has is that he *is* judgy, he’s especially judgy when it comes to Duke, who both of these moments concern.

 

1x5 Ball and Chain

Nathan Wuornos: You went home with her just like that?  
Duke Crocker: No, Nathan, first I passed her a note in study hall.

In the first one, Nathan is trying to get some information about a suspect but Duke barely knows her name even though he slept with her. Nathan is judgy about this choice, but he’s also maybe a bit confused, that this is a thing a person might do. Just go home with a person you just met? When you’re ace-spectrum, that stuff can strike you as just odd and confusing. The actually situation is actually dubcon and somewhat victim blamey so it’s not a pretty scene but not getting just hooking up with some random person can be a relatable thing for demis.

5x6 The Old Switcheroo Part 2 

Duke in Nathan’s body: I was single.  
Nathan in Duke’s body: You’re always single.  
Duke!Nathan: Oh, I’m sorry we can’t all find true love like you, Nathan.

In the second scene, Nathan and Duke have switched bodies, and it order to convince someone that he is Duke in Nathan’s body and not Nathan, Duke talks about a sexual role playing thing he does with the officer, Rebecca Rafferty, in question. That is enough to convince Rebecca. They give Nathan a couple of judgey reaction shots and when Duke feels the need to defend his hooking up habits by saying he was single at the time and Nathan counters with “You’re always single” which is not always true but still. Duke is again defensive and counters that not everyone can ‘find true love’ like Nathan which says 2 things to be. More evidence that Nathan never really lived the so called single lifestyle because a mutually consensual acquaintances with benefits thing makes him judgey and likely did not really do any random hook ups and secondly, more evidence for a Single-Target Sexuality with Duke’s point of Nathan only going for true love. 

Conclusion:  
Thank you for anyone who made it through this long weird mess of a post. I am pretty new to Haven but Nathan very quickly made his way to my fave dudes list. I am personally a demisexual, so when I saw a few posts in fandom who endorsed this view of him I was ecstatic. [http://yokyopeli.tumblr.com/tagged/demisexual-nathan-wuornos] I hope I made some good points and that others will accept this headcanon too. ETA: I actually made a new side blog under demisexualnathanvuornos , that's how much I love this.


	2. Character development Qs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Character development questions for ace characters (warning, very rambly) for the purposes of writing fic, eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Demisexuality Pride Day (June 8th)!  
> Related fic coming soon.

1.Do they know they’re asexual? 

For most part, no. I’m writing a fic after he’s figured it out right now, but I wanna write more where he’s explicitly demi but doesn’t know it. And at some point the actual realization. Timeline wise, I think he doesn’t until like S5B.

2\. If so, how did they figure it out?  
Audrey going, ‘hey, based on a bunch of things, do you think you might be asexual?’ Then freaking out and discussing it, looking up info, ultimately acceptance.

3.Do they consider themselves queer and/or LGBT+?  
Probably not. I don’t think he has experience exclusively with women, but I’m not sure he’s considering these types of things, really.

4\. If they don’t know they’re asexual, what DO they think they are? Do they have any idea? (They may identify based on their romantic orientation instead, or just be really confused.)

Not really thinking about it much, kinda just thinking that there’s something wrong with him, but it’s just one of many. I’m not sure how much he thinks about labels much but I doubt he really considered anything in more dept than a broken or experimenting straight person.

5\. Have they experienced abuse, bad relationships, social anxiety, or other factors that might make them doubt whether they’re “really” asexual or not? (Remember that asexuality is not the same as being repressed, shy, or afraid of sex.)

He’s experienced some of these and I think during the figuring out he might wonder about all these, but mostly his disability, idiopathic neuropathy/Trouble, might make him question whether he’s properly ace. And then there’s the fact that he’s demi and in a sexual relationship with Audrey, so he might wonder a lot whether it would be proper for him to consider himself ace.

 

6\. What’s their romantic orientation? 7. Is it clearly defined? 8. Is it fluid?

Thinking about romantic orientation can be difficult to think about, so I think just generally alloromantic (not-aromantic), or panromantic, because pancake puns.

9\. Are they sex-repulsed, sex-indifferent, or sex-favorable? 

I get huge sex indifferent vibes from him a lot, in general. To a certain extent he’s also sex favorable and not really sex repulsed overall (issues with sex, sure, but not necessarily repulsion). Willing to have a sexual relationship with Audrey and has enjoyed sexy stuff with others before. It just isn’t necessarily that important to him, but society says that sex is part of a romantic relationship, and it’s the physical expression of love, so since Nathan is very action oriented, he has complicated relationship with sex. 

10\. Are there some kinds of physical intimacy other than sex that they enjoy? Do they like being touched, or are they touch-averse?

Nathan and touch is a whole another essay. Because of his Trouble, his relationship with touch is complicated. It seems like Audrey was (almost) always someone who was allowed to touch him, with everyone else it depends a lot. He’s not adverse to using touch to comfort someone and he becomes more comfortable with touch over the series. 

Surprisingly, he’s quite the hugger and likes hand holding a lot. 

11\. Are they willing to make sexual compromises in an intimate relationship with a non-asexual person? How often, and how far are they willing to go? Would they be bothered if their partner wanted to seek sexual intimacy elsewhere?

Hm, I’m not sure about this? He’s ends up in a consensual sexual relationship with Audrey and seems to want monogamy, so not sure if that’s a compromise really. 

12\. Are they demisexual or gray-asexual, or neither?  
So demisexual, such an obvious demi. 

13\. How confident are they about their sexual orientation?  
After he accepts it, I think it would be something that’s just a part of him which helped him understand himself better so I think he would be somewhat confident with him.

14\. Do they feel alienated or ashamed of their sexuality? (Many asexual people grow up thinking something is wrong with them; even after discovering what asexuality is, they may still feel pretty bad about it.)

Oh boy, yes. I see lots of feelings of wrongness and brokenness. I think that’s one of the reasons he wouldn’t know until quite late, because he didn’t want a name for it, to make it real. And even after he accepted it, it would still be something that makes him different.

15\. How do they respond to sexuality in other people and the media? Are they oblivious, amused, creeped out, bored, annoyed, disgusted or fascinated? Or a combination of several of those?  
He’s kinda oblivious to it often. Confused, sometimes annoyed. 

16\. Are they familiar with asexual jargon and the asexual community?  
Ultimately, yeah. You can’t really know about demisexuality currently without being aware of the asexual community and jargon. Haven is set in 2010 and 2011, so then it would have been even more necessary to know the community to even hear about demisexuality. 

17\. If they’re religious, how does religion influence how they think about their sexuality?  
Not religious, but religious thinking has affected him a lot. Not sure how it would affect his thinking. 

18\. Are they sex-positive toward other people’s sexualities?  
Kinda. He can be judgmental for example Duke’s behavior. But in general he does seem open and accepting. I don’t know. 

19\. How has asexuality affected their sexual history, dating life, and relationships with their peers?  
A lot. While his dating history between Prom and the show itself is a complete blank, I don’t think he ever dated much. His Trouble made it worse, but figuring out how to function in relationships without a sense of touch isn’t impossible but he made seemingly no effort to do so. He was bullied as a kid, so this difference probably affected that, whether either Nathan or the other kids could tell that it was a reason. 

20\. How has asexuality affected their relationship with their family? Has it created conflict?  
We know that Garland caught him making out with a Nicole. He most likely also knew about Hannah Driscoll. He didn’t approve of Audrey, but that’s understandable because of the Barn. I think Nathan’s general social isolation because of his Trouble was part of the issues within their relationship, so I think it might have been a subtextual issue. Garland made bunch of comments about how Nathan was not good enough and wasn’t very affectionate, idk. I think it factored.

21\. What kind of future life and family are they expecting? Will asexuality affect their expectations or future opportunities for a family? Do they want children? Genetic or adopted? Do they want a romantic partner or not? Are they open to polyamory?

If we go by 5x26 Forever, a standard wife, kids, dog deal with Paige.  
But I think for a long time it did. He always wanted kids, genetic or adopted, either. Wanted a family but wasn’t sure whether he could get it.  
Not sure about polyamory. I know Threegulls is popular, but I’m not quite sure how I feel about it.

22\. Do they have internalized acephobia/anti asexual prejudice?  
Probably. He has lots of issues.

23\. Have they ever experienced aphobia/anti asexual prejudice? What form did it take and how did it affect them? 

Mara talked about how his relationship with Audrey is not real if sex makes a relationship. It was about Nathan being with Sarah before he was with Audrey. The idea that romantic relationship requires sex is acephobic although the overall issue with what Mara was saying was kinda lost on me. Since Nathan and Audrey did have a sexual and romantic relationship and the Sarah issue was at least kinda worked out between them, so… I don’t know. It was a part of the awful things that Mara said and did so I don’t think Nathan especially thought about that. 

24\. In particular, have they ever experienced bullying, sexual harassment, corrective rape, date rape, pathologization, misaimed homophobia, social anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or stigma related to their asexuality?

While he has experienced some of this stuff (bullying, social anxiety, depression, panic attacks, societal stigma), I’m not sure how many of them related to his asexuality. It was probably a contributing factor to some of these, but during the show, there was anxiety on his part about being with Jess. But a lot of these things were a reaction to his Trouble, or how he reacted to his Trouble, so I don’t know. Was anything just about his demisexuality, probably not, but like I said, contributing factor.

25\. Have they experienced other kinds of anti-LGBT+ prejudice? (not asexuality related)  
Possibly. 

26\. How does asexuality interact with their gender identity, if at all? 27. If male, do they feel less masculine, mature, or socially successful because they are asexual? Do others perceive them that way?

Absolutely. Duke at least makes comments relating to Nathan’s masculinity or lack of it and part of it relates to sexual performance, for a lack of a better term. Garland also always talks about Nathan’s supposed immaturity relating to the world/the Troubles. So, yeah, I think he internalizes bunch of those things and has his own stuff too. 

(28.If female, are they particularly affected by compulsory sexuality, sexual objectification, and rape culture?/29.If they are trans*, or have a non-binary gender, do other people wrongly conflate their sexuality and gender identities? [Not really related to this question, but the idea of trans!Nathan interests me. Specifically because of Duke’s comments about Nathan not being a real boy, and in 5x6 when Dwight!Gloria says that at least Duke is still the same gender, being in Nathan, Duke!Nathan makes questioning sound])

 

30\. Are they out of the closet about being asexual? To what degree, and to whom?  
So, I’m assuming he discovers it with Audrey, so she knows. Post-finale, would tell to Paige at some point. I think he might tell Duke, once he was himself comfortable and accepting it. Probably would go with asexual instead of demisexual though. I hope Duke would be nice about it. Not sure he’d feel like anyone else really would need to know. Not sure about Dwight. Not that he specifically wouldn’t tell Dwight for some reason, but it not really coming up.

I kinda like the idea that he’s get a black ace ring and wear it on his neck, to replace Croatoan’s/Garland’s ring. 

31\. Do they have a support network of friends or family they can talk to about asexuality?  
Not sure he would feel the need to talk about it to people a lot in general. He could talk to Audrey/Paige, Duke when he’s alive but that’s pretty much it. If he tells Dwight, I think Dwight would be good about it.

32\. Does asexuality affect what kinds of social events, hobbies, or work they can partake in?  
He’s Trouble affects that stuff a lot, so he does a lot of stuff alone (golf, handicrafts) which dovetails well with being asexual. 

33\. Does asexuality affect how they speak? Do they avoid using words like “sexy” or “hot” which might be misinterpreted as sexual? Do they feel awkward when other people discuss sexual topics?  
Not that I really noticed. He doesn’t talk about that stuff a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of doing a chapter on his relationships at some point as a third chapter.  
> ->The 3rd chapter will be about attraction stuff. Hopefully soon.


	3. Attraction

So, originally this final chapter/section was supposed to be about Nathan's relationships, but frankly since I'm writing a 30ish chapter fic about all that currently, so a third person meta version would feel somewhat redundant. What I do think is interesting is talking about attraction and how Nathan does or does not experience it. Everything is of course my own personal interpretation as someone who is also demisexual(and demiromantic).

For the record: sexual attraction: wanting to have sex/ do sexual things with a particular person (not necessarily related to libido/sex drive, which is (not) wanting sex in general)

romantic attraction: wanting to have a romantic relationship with someone and/or do romantic things with people (what counts as 'romantic' is personal and cultural) 

1)Sexual attraction: The whole point of all this writing I've been doing is that Nathan Is Very Demisexual. It's my very thesis statement. For people unfamiliar with that (idk why you'd read a third chapter of demi meta, but just for clarification), it means that a person is to an extent asexual, does not experience sexual attraction, except a demisexual person can develop sexual attraction based on an existing emotional bond with a particular person. 

His feelings for Audrey are the most clear example of that. They developed an important partnership, with lots of trust and caring and affection and friendship which developed into sexual and romantic attraction. 

I'm also thinking there might be some gray-aceness in him, too, which mostly manifests with other Emily Rose shaped characters, mainly with Sarah but also kinda with the others. Like, there's a baseline possibility for attraction because of Audrey, but whether he does or doesn't experience attraction is more individual situation and personality.  
Sometimes the difference between gray-(a)sexuality and demisexuality can be pretty confusing, and sometimes people identify with both labels to an extend. The main difference, and why I think Nathan is more demi than gray, is that for gray-ace people, attraction is either weak, occasional or under specific circumstances (sometimes demi-ness gets put under that section), whereas for me it's clear that Nathan requires an emotional bond for sexual attraction to develop. Demi is specific, while gray is vague and I think the situation overall is specific. 

Jess is his most straight forward relationship, and even his hesitation with her can be read as just a part of his Trouble related insecurities but a lot of it also reads to me as 'I don't know how to do this adult relationship thing' which would be affected both from being demi and being Troubled. 

Jordan is... complicated. There is a certain bond that's created purely because of how their Troubles interact. I haven't rewatched season 3 for writing about Jordan purposes yet so I'm not quite sure what attractions I think Nathan felt towards her. It was all complicated and messy. If Nathan could have trusted her, there was definitely some basis for an emotional connection that could have ended up in attraction.

2)Romantic attraction 

I had this lovely conversation a few days ago on tumblr messenger (11.4) which I thought was very interesting: 

_A:"Hey I've been reading "the life and times of demisexual Nathan" from Haven serie. I not watched the serie, only some bits on yt, but kudos on demi rep._

__

__

_Also I was wondering is he or can he be considered by any chance neurodivergent? There are few demi characters out there fandom canon but they also kinda struggle like him about romance/flirting, to a point I myself wonder if they are also aro or ND too."_

**Me:Thank you so much for reading that fic! I love writing it so much. Especially since you don't know the fandom.**

****

**He is not canonically ND although he does have a physical disability (inability to feel physically) but he is a popular autistic headcanon among actually autistic fans, so I try to write towards that direction, although he is undiagnosed so it's not explicit in my writing.**

****

**As far as 'who he is attracted to' I write him as panromantic but certain arospec-ness is not a bad interpretation.**

_A:"If by fandom canon he is autistic then he can be considered neurodivergent thus might be considered nebularomantic. I reckon I related a lot to his struggles and cluelessness in that aspect. Your fic showed that well.---"_

For the record, at this point I've written 21,000+ words mostly pre-canon and s1-s2 stuff of that fic, so that's the context (not sure how far they are in the fic): https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154636?view_full_work=true

I'm very happy that Nathan's ND-ness also comes through in my writing. I'm only maybe-autistic, so I mostly leave actually-autistic writers to write explicitly autistic!Nathan, although I am writing no-Troubles!Nathan Hansen as diagnosed autistic. The closest I came to writing NW as being autistic was in Mother and Son chapter one:

[One day, when Nathan is 3 and a half years old, he's sitting on the living room floor, drawing. Garland is visiting Elizabeth for coffee. Garland doesn't usually visit the house. Nathan's doctors are worried about his development. Elizabeth is scared about what it might mean, what Max might do if he found out. She wants what's best for Nathan, but these days she has no idea what that is.] 

My writing always needs editing, sorry. Anyway, the subtext was that doctors might have wanted to test Nathan for autism but Elizabeth wasn't sure whether that would be a good idea at the time (late 1970s). I checked how the situation might have been for him if he was diagnosed back then but I don't think it was good, and his Mom was worrying about ableist society and Max's reaction. It's very tricky stuff to write, so I basically left it there. But if people read ND-ness to my writing of Nathan, it's not unintentional.

The reason I went so much into this here, is because nebularomantic is something that is only to be used by neurodivergent people: 

Nebularomantic  
Definition: Similar to quoiromantic; being unable to or having a hard time distinguishing romantic attraction from platonic attraction due to ones neurodivergency. Derived from nebulous, a Latin word for clouded or unclear.  
Note: This term is only to be used by neurodivergent people.  
http://can-i-hide-in-you.tumblr.com/post/93934380226/nebularomantic-definition-similar-to

So, I'm really glad that my writing for Nathan is relatable for a neurodivergent person and that my somewhat unintentional portrayal of a nebularomantic character is good. I think it does actually make sense for Nathan. I have basically considered him as allo-romantic until this but it's possible my own aro-ness shines through. And he does struggle also with romantic stuff to an extend.

Also, like I mentioned in my discussion up there, I basically write him as panromantic, although that's kinda complicated, too. Mostly because Haven is pretty hetero-normative/default-straight show. And I don't like Duke/Nathan as a romantic/sexual ship. But I do think that Nathan's attraction to Audrey/ERSC, Jordan and Jess happen based on personality and not necessarily based on (just) gender, and his reaction to the Chris charm thing isn't a gay-panic reaction. Unless 'man-crush' is inherently no-homo. But that was talking about Duke's experience with the Brody Trouble. IDK. I will eventually write some non-m/f college relationships and did have him also go on blind-dates with men, so... 

3)other (platonic; qpr) 

Life is complicated, and there are plenty of different types of attractions beyond just romantic and platonic (and familial).  
Alterous is kinda like between romantic and platonic yet not familial, and I think he might feel something like that for Duke? I'm not really sure. His relationship with Duke is always complicated, going back to Duke being Nathan's bully as a kid and their on-again-off-again friendship, and I can't really see them in a 'typical' romantic relationship with each other, from Nathan's pov. Some type of QPR (Audrey included) might make sense, but I'm not really sure if that is something that they would want. IDK.

4)Attitudes 

Sex Neutral/indifferent: this is probably me projecting, but sex doesn't seem to really be a motivating factor for Nathan. Being sex neutral/indifferent means that one is not particularly interested in nor bothered by sex. It's not always a constant state, so it can vary from time to time, but the baseline is, sex is whatever. Doesn't mean he isn't sometimes repulsed and he is to an extend favorable within a relationship. But neutral seems to be his baseline. 

The fact that Nathan didn't try to figure out how or if he can have sex with his Trouble until Jess came into the picture, when he had been Troubled for a couple of years already, says a lot.  
Here you also get into gendered social expectations, because since he was in a romantic relationship with Jess, it was 'natural' that the relationship also (almost) became sexual, although Nathan himself was somewhat reluctant about that development. He didn't know her for very long, so it's likely that even though he was interested in Jess (which was helped by Jess' own blatant interest in him and the different perspective on the Troubles she offered), he might not have been quite there yet as far as attractions go. But because he is an adult man, taking things slowly or expressing reluctance to have sex beyond the complications from his Trouble, isn't really accepted.

With Audrey especially I think he did develop sexual attraction and since society says that romantic relationships require sex to be valid and Audrey being allosexual/bi and Nathan genuinely wanting Audrey, leads to him being more sex favorable in that relationship. Nathan is also actions over words type, so that adds to the likelihood of him being the type of person who would have sex with the person they are romantically involved with, even if sex for its own sake is a whatever thing for them.

I also think Nathan's Trouble affects his libido quite a bit. It's possible he in general also has a low libido.

Romance favorable: Even with his issues, he doesn't show reluctance at entering into a romantic relationship or doing romantic things, even if feelings and romantic/platonic attraction can be very confusing to him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Might write about romantic orientation and attitude to sex stuff later in a second 'chapter'.


End file.
